Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, and Isla Fisher, Baz Luhrmann’s 2013 version of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby was astounding. Imagine if Moulin Rouge stared Tyler Durden (no, not Brad Pitt, actually Tyler Durden), was covered in tinsel and set to a modern-day hip-hop soundtrack. I know, right? Wouldn’t you want to see that?! Well, apparently lots of people didn’t. Lots of people who reviewed this film didn’t think it wasn’t very good for a number of reasons. Maybe people didn’t like Lana Del Rey, but whatever. She was actually pretty amazing, thanks. So let me tell you what some people said about this movie, and I’ll tell you why you shouldn’t listen to them.

A review by Jeremy Kirk on firstshowing.net is entitled “The Great Gatsby Just Burns Too Bright for Its Own Good.” It states that narration of Nick Carraway is too direct and should have been “subtler.” Try telling that to Fitzgerald who wrote the story in the first person. Kirk then accuses Luhrmann of not being “a subtle man.” This is all good in my opinion, as The Great Gatsby didn’t take place during a subtle time or involve subtle people. Kirk also says that the “pomp and circumstance, confetti and fireworks, blaring music and dancing feet all play perfectly in line with Luhrmann’s style.” As if that didn’t perfectly describe every weekend at Jay Gatsby’s! This review continues to charge Luhrmann with making a movie too accurate, too close to the original text, and “stale.” Which is interesting since it just got done saying the whole thing was over the top.

A second negative review by Peter Travers from Rolling Stone actually said “F. Scott Fitzgerald [was] turning in his grave” because this movie was so overdone. Travers also bashes the 1974 Robert Redford version and dares the viewer to “stay awake” while watching it. Lastly Travers nitpicks several of Luhrmann’s stylistic choices like “digitally re-creating New York in Australia (for tax purposes), [shooting] in 3-D (God knows why), and [bringing] in Jay-Z to amp up the soundtrack (nothing like hip-hop to add relevance to a retro classic.” (sic) He states simply, “Nothing works.”

I bring this to your attention because most of the reviews I’ve read are negative, but they can’t tell you exactly, consistently, what was so wrong with this film. Phrases like “over the top” and “too much” describing the parties and the generic bemoaning of the soundtrack choices aren’t helpful because the authors of these articles are reviewing the individual style choices, not the overall tone of the movie. They are complaining about PARTS, not the WHOLE. But I can tell you what’s really wrong with the reviews I’ve read: They don’t know the people they’re talking about. No, I’m not talking about Baz Luhrmann or Leonardo DiCaprio. I’m talking about Jay Gatsby and his desperate longing. I’m talking about Daisy Buchanan and her faltering detached cool at the sound of Gatsby’s name. I’m talking about Tom Buchanan’s insecurities, Nick Carraway’s superiority complex, and even Myrtle Wilson’s longing to escape her dreary mechanic’s wife’s life which is so loudly echoed in the desperate throngs of partygoers who flock to Gatsby’s every weekend.

When I tell you Baz and Leo and Tobey and company got those things dead on, I mean it.

Ok, let me start out by saying not only did I read this book several times in the last 15 years, but I did my junior year high school thesis on it. Yeah, yeah, it might sound like an over-glorified book report to you, but this was a tedious 5 month journey back in time to the 1920s for me. I didn’t just read the book and jot down a few thoughts on it. I studied Fitzgerald’s life from childhood to death to fully understand not what he was writing, but why. And I came to the conclusion that Fitzgerald, for all his romanticism, was a jerkface who always thought he deserved better but then pissed away whatever he got on self-indulgence fueled by his superiority complex. Wait. Can I say pissed in this blog? Whatever, I just did.

The point is, I know this book, I know the era, and I know the spirit, the zeitgeist, the electric charge in the air! And this movie absolutely hit the mark, undeniably. And the spark wasn’t limited to the spectacular party scenes for which Gatsby is famous; it continued through the film in every little fold of clothing, every sweep of hair, every wave lapped upon shore.

Exactly who IS Gatsby? Check out a scene between Nick and Jordan to hear who some say he is.

Every bad review I’ve read has the undeniable tone of “smartypantness” spewed all over it. The authors of these negative reviews come off seeming like snooty professors who never went out past the streetlights. I can almost hear them muttering, “How droll, how very drrrrooolll,” into their brandy glasses. And I’m like, STOP, seriously! This isn’t your daddy’s Gatsby and it wasn’t meant to be! It wasn’t made to conform to your memory of a book you haven’t read since you were forced to in freshman year.

But for those who really know this book, or for those who have no emotional connection to it whatsoever, this is a perfect movie adaptation. For those who think they know “fine literature” or “the classics,” you’ll probably hate it. If you think that you’re supposed to like these characters and get mad that you don’t because you think the performers are overacting, then you don’t know the characters in the least. These are flawed people, hiding behind a facade of smiles and lovely clothes and wads of money.

The casting is spot on, and overacting is the name of the game. I usually hate Tobey Maguire. No, really, I usually do. But he was perfect as Nick. Nick is the most unreliable narrator I can think of, pre-Chuck Palahniuk. Nick Carraway is an actor, even if he is in severe denial about it. But Maguire knows it for sure, and he plays it right. And if I hear one more person whine about Leo DiCaprio ruining the film for them, I will eat the olive out of their gin martini, if you know what I mean. DiCaprio channels Robert Redford as if he was using a Ouija board. The insecure smarminess is simply brilliant. I’m impressed with Joel Edgerton’s portrayal as a polo player gone to seed and a conniving, cheating, racist ass. Tom, who no one should like as a person, is an intriguing character, and Edgerton does not play him as one-dimensionally as readers like to pretend he is. Lastly Mulligan’s Daisy is stunning and charming and heartbreaking all at once, and through her portrayal, you can really understand her whole life thus far though you only catch glimpses of if visually. You come to really love Daisy for all her flaws, even if you may not leave the theater liking her.

Now for the visuals. Ignore everyone who says that parties, the costumes, and the scenery were over the top. Ignore all of it. It’s exactly as it should have been. Jay Gatsby’s parties weren’t just to show off his money to the anonymous public who moved in droves to his mansion every weekend, they were to captivate one person, lure one person, to him. And when you watch the party scenes in full swing, you’ll feel like YOU are that one person Gatsby wants to entice. You’ll feel like you got your own personal invitation to the best, most gorgeous party in the world. The glitz and the glam and the conspicuous consumption so evident in these filmed production scenes is absolutely in step with the times Fitzgerald was writing about. Fitzgerald is rolling in his grave, you say? Nay, nay, he is doing the Charleston, and he is covered in tinsel.

You’ve got to understand how disgustingly rich Gatsby is, and he and Luhrmann show you. Yeah, it’s more extravagant than what we’d like to think rich people put on to impress their friends. But imagine Bruce Wayne didn’t have to hobnob with snobs. Pretend he had fun friends and didn’t have that whole Batman thing hanging over his head. If you had as much money as Bruce Wayne, I bet you’d have a ridiculous party with champagne bottles spewing glitter, and ginormous swings with showgirls on them, and so much liquor left over Alfred had to pour the remains in barrels just to clean up the place. At least once, anyway. Wait a minute… I think that analogy would have worked better with Tony Stark. Forget it, it’s already written and I have a deadline. Pretend there’s a picture of a sad Batman trying to party hard but no one is talking to him. I dunno, google image it.

Look, go see this movie, but don’t go expecting some kind of deep drama from the Lifetime channel. Expect something FUN, because the Roaring Twenties was fun! And expect some strain and heartache, because people love and lose and win and lose all the time, and the Roaring Twenties was no exception. And get wrapped up in Nick’s enrapturement with life on West Egg, indulge in the heavy beats of Jay-Z, Beyonce, and Andre 300, because if they’d been around in the Summer of ’22, you know they would have been headlining at Gatsby’s. Stop reading negative reviews and go see a movie that isn’t mean to copy-paste the same story you trudged through when you were fourteen. Go see an amazing rendition of a classic story set to modern moods and music that prove this tale is timeless.

There’s a big hullabaloo going on ’round the interwebs regarding tropes, stereotypes, and the pigeonholing of females in games, comics, movies, etc. I don’t quite disagree with those views. In fact, a good number of them are spot on. But that doesn’t mean that these female characters are somehow harmful or, at the least, invalid. A buxom beauty can still teach us good life lessons. A femme fatale can still depart wisdom. And if you look past the bewbs that look like an eleven year old boy drew them, the fashion model wind-swept hair, and the skin tight costumes, you’ll find a capable, strong, impressive, and – dare I say it! – smart woman.

What follows is a woefully incomplete list of amazingly brilliant women I consider role models. In the comments, I encourage you to add your own thoughts. Whether originating in games, films, books, comics, or wherever, your role models have influenced your life and deserve a nod.

Kitty Pryde from the X-Men and Excalibur

Take some time off before you lose yourself. One time I wrote this fanfic where Kitty was dealing with depression over how hard it is to be a noble superhero. She was consumed with how many friends they had lost, how much of themselves they had lost, to this life of superheroism. She felt extreme guilt because she wanted to walk away from it all for a while.  Not leave for good, but step away and breathe.  It took Wolverine to convince her that was the healthy thing to do; in order to continue, she must pause. I was very proud of this story and I actually finished it.  One of three stories I’ve finished in 20 years, if I think about it….  The point is, very soon afterwards Mechanix came out and Kitty had left Excalibur, the X-Men, and went back home to Chicago to study and live her life.  She changed dramatically for a while as she found herself again. She didn’t LOSE any of herself, though. She just grew. She’d been so afraid of taking a break for fear she’d STOP growing that she stagnated herself until she finally shook herself loose.  Once she proved to herself she was more than the X-Men’s little sister, she became a much stronger, much more enjoyable person to be around.

Snow White from Once Upon a Time

Dark Helmet from Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs famously said, “So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb!”  And I can’t help but think that every time Snow, or her Storybrooke counterpart Mary Margaret, lets her heart glow in the face of villainy.  But yet she does it.  Snow is the epitome of the phrase, “turn the other cheek.”  It does often backfire along the way.  But I can’t help but truly admire her unerring goodness.  Spoilers, but recently she’s learned what happens when you let a little darkness in.  But that’s the whole point, I think.  You can’t judge a candle’s brightness without comparing the darkness around it.  So to appreciate her light all the more, it must be compared to a little darkness too.  Regardless of some misjudgment, Snow’s goodness comes from her belief that everyone is also good, can be good, and would be good if only given a chance.  And most appropriately she learned this goodness from her mother.  It isn’t flawless, it isn’t even magic.  But it’s better than the alternative every time.

Mystique of the X-Men universe

Raven Darkholme is a shapeshifter, so naturally I learned from her to adapt.  Adapt, but never lose yourself in the process. Keep moving. Change is inevitable so embrace it. You’re either guiding the tide or washed up in it. Keep sight of your goals, but understand that your plans to achieve them may require some tweaking when roadblocks land on our tracks. Learn to use the powerfulness of loss and grief to motivate you toward greatness.  And own up to your bad choices. Sure, you’re gonna do things you’re not proud of, make decisions that, as they’re happening, give you that bad feeling in your gut. But don’t pretend they’re not real. Own your choices. Mystique has made some pretty rough choices in her life, choices I don’t always agree with.  But I respect her because she always has a good reason which aligns with her overall master plans.

Hermione Granger from Harry Potter

Hermione’s best lesson to me is not to let others define you. Muggle? Know-it-all? So what if you are? Do those words make you less? Do those names make you weaker? I teach little kids about dealing with bullying for a living. When they cry that someone called them “stupid” or “wuss,” I ask them, “If I called you a chair, does that mean I can sit on you?” They always laugh because they see that names are literally just that.  For everyone’s perception of you, there are 100 facets to you and your life that they don’t see or want to acknowledge. Whoever you really are will always be the truth, no matter what labels anyone sticks on you. You may be that mousey girl with her nose in a book, but when it comes down to it, you’re also that girl who hunts Horcruxes, duels Death Eaters, and chooses to fight a war instead of go into hiding. Just because someone doesn’t call you “brave” or “a hero” doesn’t mean you aren’t.

Laura Holt from Remington Steele

Learn the difference between being a woman and being “treated like a woman.”  There isn’t a damn thing wrong with having a feminine body, or sense of style. There’s nothing wrong with being gentle, or kind, or crying when you hurt. But it’s ok to get a little steamed when someone assumes you’ve got to do those things in order to be a woman. A deviation from those characteristics makes you no less a woman. Ambition, courage, self-reliance, and the want to succeed do not in any way detract from one’s womanhood.  And trusting in a man as a friend or partner doesn’t make you any less ambitious, courageous, or self-reliant either.  Set your goals, pursue them, mix business with pleasure once in awhile, but stay true to your goals.  No one has the right to tell you “you can’t” because you’re a woman.

Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Rely heavily on your friends.  Yes, be self-sufficient, be self-reliant.  But never forget those who love you.  And if they can help you, even in little ways, then let them.  There is nothing sadder than wishing someone was there to comfort you, cheer you on, or just say, “I believe in you!”  Don’t push your friends away.  They help make you the awesome person you are.  Your friends ought to be a reflection of your ideals and virtues, but varied enough to give you new insights.  No, not every word or gesture is JUST for you, perfectly befitting the situation.  This isn’t a scripted event after all.  But if you learn to pay close enough attention, your friends who really know you and care about you will say and do things that will inspire and motivate you.  Friends are alibis, cohorts, pillows, comedians, counselors, philosophers, and cornerstones.

Rogue of the X-Men

Don’t turn down a bucket of chicken wings, learn to drive fast, and love despite every boundary. Life is short even when you’re physically invulnerable to a semi truck being dropped on you. We’re all only here for a short time, so enjoy it often. This includes enjoying love. Despite the inability to physically touch, Rogue’s heart still worked just fine. And even though Gambit had a sketchy past, she was able to trust. Junk food, adventure, love– they’re all risky and can kill us. But that’s life. We’re all gonna die someday. So why be miserable in the meantime?

Lily Evans from Harry Potter

Your love is effective, and your choices can change the world. Your influence remains long after you are gone from this earth, though the people you loved, the people you touched, and the people you sacrificed for. Your choices have power, no matter how insignificant they may seem to others. Love is powerful, with far-reaching effects.

Katina Choovanski from Terry Moore’s Strangers in Paradise

Be self reliant because you are beholden to no one. It doesn’t matter where you came from, or who claims to have made you who you are today. Our lives are full of people who influence us, change us, and move us forward. People give us chances, opportunities, and experiences we may never have achieved on our own. And we owe those who help us our genuine thanks. But we don’t owe them our bodies and souls. The greatest achievement we can aspire to is to trust in ourselves and know – really KNOW – we can take care of ourselves and then help other people along the way. And know that self-reliance doesn’t mean shutting people out, even “for their own good.”

Sydney Bloom from the 1995 Fox show VR.5

I want to do a whole blog on Fox shows cancelled before their time, but I don’t have enough tears for such an endeavor. If you’re interested, you can find all of VR.5′s one season on Youtube. Well, Sydney taught me no matter who your family is, or who you thought they were, you still have a responsibility to yourself to be happy, healthy, and free. You are not the sum of your parents’ mistakes, and you are not liable to make up for their choices. You are in control of your own life, no matter how many people come to your door to remind you daily that you aren’t. And your mind is your own, your heart your greatest weapon. Your ambition to be free from the control of others, to survive and thrive, is stronger than their will to oppress.

Siryn from X-Force

Know when to ask for help because even superheroes have their limits. This was a lesson I was fully aware of but did not heed. I was an alcoholic, and I would argue I still am. And despite superpowers, Theresa Rourke (Cassidy) was a drunk too. The pressures of life get to us, burrow into us. They can even wreck us if we allow them to. But for as much stock as I put in becoming self-reliant, I fully trumpet the true fact that we can’t do everything alone. When life becomes simply too harsh and our foolishness has dug the hole even deeper, then we’ve got to say, “I need a friend. I need some help.” I know this now, and I probably knew it back then, when I was making my most foolish of decisions, but I still didn’t do it. The difference is I won’t repeat those mistakes because I’ve seen what the repercussions are.

Calisto, Spiral, and Dark Phoenix from the X-Universe

Don’t be a supervillainess. No, not because it’s “wrong.” What does “wrong” even mean in a world full of gray areas? What I mean is, don’t be cruel, selfish, and arrogant. And to a wider extent don’t be so one-track-minded that your plans hinge solely on the theory that “It can’t possibly fail! I’m too amazing!” Villains don’t learn from their mistakes. They don’t adapt, they don’t love, they don’t ever learn. (And I would submit that the ones who do aren’t exactly your stereotypical villains to begin with. Emma Frost, I’m looking at you…) It’s good to me straight-minded in that you’ve got your eye on a prize and you power towards it. But it’s not good to be NARROW-minded and not see all the possibilities (to succeed or to fail) around you. To do so it to be a one-dimensional person without much intrigue. That’s the real stereotype I’ve learned to avoid. Don’t show up for a fight, say your catch phrases, get defeated because you were so arrogant you give away all your weaknesses, and then slink off after defeat only to plot revenge in the shadows. Rinse. Repeat. Lame. That one-sidedness is hackneyed and no one will take you seriously. So adapt, love, and learn. And for heaven’s sake, don’t give away all your weaknesses only to have your enemies defeat you. Remember, the stronger people we’ve already talked about above can always, and will always, defeat you.

Again, this list is missing so, so many influential fictional women. I honestly could go on for several more pages, but no one is THAT interested in what I think. Personally, I’d rather hear what you think! In the comments, tell us which fictional woman has inspired you. Make sure to tell us where she’s from as well. Thanks for reading!

I have spent the last week or so watching every single video on the Vlogbrothers Channel, after discovering it through their other channels, specifically Crash Course and the Sci Show. In addition, Hank just started a new channel, Vidthoughts, and this made me think. We’ll were Awesome (yes, with a capital A), I love these ideas, and and now as a group we are going to embrace video. We will start producing videos every Wednesday, you can see yesterday’s video below.

This is the beginning of the Very Awesome Girls Adventure into the land of Nerdfighteria, henceforth, we will be submitting our blog to their Nerdfighter projects and of course participating in this year’s Project Awesome because that’s right, it’s in our name, we are awesome!

Also, this is my call to arms, all of us should join in Your Pants! and post in the Nevada Nerdfighters thread

So, of course we need your ideas for our vlog. We don’t really have a great camera right now, just a simple webcam, but please leave your ideas in the comments and we will be happy to answer your questions in our next video.

DFTBA

Sometimes it’s easy to forget just how amazing Iron Man is – not only as the hero in a suit of armor, but as the “genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.”  And also as the man. The most singular and powerful part of the Iron Man saga has always been that Tony Stark is Iron Man – he can’t seek protection behind a secret identity any more than he take advantage of mutant powers or magic.  More importantly, he can’t protect the people he loves with his secret identity.  In Iron Man 3, Tony is continuously under immense pressure from outside forces and his own personal trauma, and what makes him most heroic is that he chooses to fight, to save Pepper, to defeat the Mandarin, and to abandon the distractions that keep him from becoming a truly great man.

When I wanted to join Very Awesome Girls, I had to fill out a questionnaire inquiring about my personal nerdy activities and geekdoms. One question which really captured my attention was “Who is your favorite comic book artist and writer and why?” I was stumped. Truly I felt guilty as I stared at the question for I had never given thought to, or had a treasure trove of options on, artists and writers from which to choose. Having this question fixated in my brain made me take the time to finally sit down and enjoy every aspect of reading and embracing a comic book. No longer did I breeze through the written story and overlook the intricacies within each panel, and detail afforded to every line and tone of color. Memories of art class in school come flooding back as I pay closer attention to shadows, absence of color, and depth of foreground and background.

With my new found tools with which to approach a comic book, I picked up Batwoman. I will fully admit I was intrigued by the description given from my local Comic Book Guy, especially when he added, “Oh, and did I mention the main character is a lesbian?” I was excited to find a strong female character, and a lesbian to boot! Sure, there are plenty of strong feminine super heroines in the comic book world, but I was amazed that the fandom would allow, and embrace, a leading lesbian. This was all I knew as I approached Batwoman from issue 0.

Starting with the cover art, I can’t believe how captivating and complex each cover has been so far. I sit and absorb every detail, trying to imagine what is going on with the characters and the story just based on what is being conveyed in the artwork on the cover. Nothing is as it seems, there are multiple actions and moments happening on every inch of the canvas. J. H. Williams III has done a fantastic job with the art!

But open the book and behold even more artistic beauty! I love how the cells are fluid, moving with the character, highlighting action and dialog. I love the two page spread where Batwoman is talking with Batman, and the background is a red bat symbol for Batwoman with a black inlaid bat symbol for Batman while the dialog happens through the wingspan of both symbols! Another wonderfully thought out sequence happens during a fight scene where Batwoman and Flamebird are swapping bunches with bad guys while carrying on a discussion with each other! So much is happening at once, but within all the chaos, we are given small snap shots of x-rays pinpointing Batwoman and Flamebird’s precision to deliver a broken wrist, cracked ribs, and a dislocated jaw all without pausing their conversation! Brilliant use of colors and flow within these books. What I have enjoyed the most within the artwork is the two very different styles used to differentiate between Kate Kane’s story and Batwoman’s story. Amy Reeder and Richard Friend give us the Kate sequence to juxtapose J. H. Williams III’s Batwoman storyline.

Speaking of storyline, I can’t forget to mention the actual story happening within the stirring artwork. Gotham City is losing it’s children to an unknown host of evil, leaving more questions then answers with each new villain encountered. Batwoman struggles to stay ahead of the kidnappings and solve the case while eluding G.C.P.D. officials. Kate Kane and her alter ego Batwoman are very complex characters. Kate is battling a broken relationship with her Father, a guilty conscience over family, and a romance which seems to be fragile at best. Batwoman has to keep Kate’s life separate from crime fighting while trying to find Gotham’s missing children before a fate worse than death consumes them, all while attempting to find allegiance within an assortment of agencies and individuals cloaking hidden agendas. J. H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman keep me on the edge of my seat with every turn of a page!

Finally, I feel apart of the whole. The sum of all parts coming together to weave an intricate story through art and dialog to give the reader visual cues and verbal story to entrap themselves within the saga that is Batwoman. I may not know a lot about comic books, the artists, or the writers…yet; but I am willingly doing my research!

For awhile, I figured life just had not given me the tools with which I could build. So I went and fell in love. Then fell out of love. Thought I had found love this one time, but no. Then I met The One, someone who gave new meaning to life, colors, senses, and love. But she ripped my heart out and chopped it up into little pieces, set fire to those pieces, then put the flames out with venom. Well, now I should really have something to write about, right? I experienced love’s highs, lows, and in-betweens. Nothing. If anything, my creative drought got worse. I didn’t want to write about happiness since that was a tornado though my parade. Poems turned into rants, or unfinished bile which made me even more bitter.

Alas, my misfortunes in the emotional department yielded squat. I had nothing to show for my love or heartache. No words of advice, no lasting string of thoughts to impress upon our youth from which they could quote in endless term papers or journals. Emotional turmoil did nothing to aid in filling my trough with scraps to digest. Dead ends are at every turn. Here I still write of nothing, and I am probably depleting my already low reserves of thoughts. What to do? What to say? What to write?

Clearly, the real world around me provides no hope for my creative juices. Perhaps I need to turn to fantasy and fiction. Search the unknown universe to begin a tale. Sketch a picture of words to a princess in a far off galaxy, worlds away from mine (at least it might help my love life). J. K. Rowling created a world within our world, and made us feel like it was real. My friends and I have lived, loved, and loathed the Harry Potter universe. We have created memories with the characters. What am I missing, what piece of my brain has yet to log on and mass produce amazing worlds and destinations people can journey to with me? Certainly I am not God, but if he could create the Heavens and the Earth, and breathe life into man in seven days, why the hell haven’t I been able to get my creative spark in the last thirty two years? Perhaps I am a malfunctioning unit. All of my parts were not available when I was being assembled. Perhaps I am destined for greatness in another fashion.

Don’t even get me started on fashion. Producing outfits worthy of gracing runways in New York City or Paris will never come from me. I do my little turn on the catwalk of life, modeling the latest jeans and t-shirt combo I have selected from the mass of fabric I call a wardrobe. The creative gene supply ran out of stock when I was next in line to receive. I guess I should just move on with this monkey on my back, and live with this itch I cannot scratch. Greet an eternity of needing to create without one iota of a blue print with which to begin, and open my arms to other constructive possibilities like taking over the world, or achieving the highest score in pinball history, or just living an uncreative existence writing blogs about nothing.

Garrett, Brooks, and Aaron proceeded to define each of the classes they created, and explained how each class manifested through the development of the game. They originally began with the Human Commando class. The Commando class includes an assault rifle, grenade launcher, and butt stock (melee attack). For balance to the Commando class, the Novaraptor Dinosaur class was created. Novaraptor class is extremely agile, relies on claws, pounce, and frenzy (roar) to attack and defend. After creating the Commando, the developers realized they wanted to create a human class to counteract the lack of precision from Commando’s ability to go in and just cause a big ruckus.  The Scientist class was added.

As a female gamer, I appreciate the inclusion of a female character added as the Scientist. Thank you Primal Carnage for giving females a character in which to play, and for making her a smart chick scientist no less! The Scientist class includes a sniper rifle, a tranquilizer dart gun, and a cattle prod (for melee).  The sniper rifle is available for more accuracy, giving the Scientist an advantage for long distance shooting and added assistance to team members in the midst of fighting. If she is cornered, the dart gun gives her the ability to get out of a tight spot when challenged by her opponents. The cattle prod also aides in pushing enemies back away so she can avoid death. While developing new classes, the creators also added objects such as bushes and barrels for various humans and dinosaurs to hide behind so everyone wasn’t just out in the center for a free-for-all killing frenzy. The counterbalance to the Scientist is the Tyrannosaurs Rex. Because he is so big but slow, he is like a tank which can take a lot of damage. His perks include regenerating health for every successful kill, and his roar or bite adds health to adjacent teammates. He can stomp on humans and thrash with his head. Another development in the environments, because of the T-Rex class, was chase breakers: routes for humans to avoid the T-Rex.

The next set of classes are the Pathfinder (human) and Dilophosaurus, quality defender or assist classes to the team.  The Pathfinder Class includes a shotgun, flares, and machete (melee attack).  The Pathfinder, or human guide, is equipped with the flares to blind approaching dinosaurs like using a flash grenade in other games. The Dilophosaurus is a small target, making him hard to hit. He has a poisonous bite which inflicts immediate damage, and depletes health of the victim if the victim moves. The Dilophosaurus also has acid spit which can blind humans for a period of time. The roar helps flush out camping humans and can hit multiple enemies and blind them at the same time.

Another set of classes used primarily for support are the Trapper and the Pteranodan Classes. The Trapper class includes wielding dual pistols, a net gun, and a knife.  The dual pistols are two different types of guns with different amounts of ammo, potentially giving the shooter the ability to shoot with one while reloading the other. The net gun effects each Dinosaur differently, including the T-Rex’s loss of bite when the net is on his face. The Pteranodan class is the eye in the sky, helping to locate humans for other dinosaurs. He has a peck attack, grab, and spot (roar). The grab lets him pick up humans and drop them to their death. His ability to spot makes him the fastest class with the capability to get into many different places within the environment.

The final set of classes are the Pyromaniac and the Carnotaurus Classes. The Pyromaniac is equipped with a flame thrower and chainsaw for crowd control when a group of dinosaurs are attacking at once. When the Dinosaurs are hit by the Pyromaniac, their heath depletes progressively over time. He is also outfitted with impact grenades, and could sacrifice himself for the team by dropping a grenade at his feet to take out surrounding dinosaurs. The Carnotaurus Class attack is basically like a running freight train, packed with a bite which can hit multiple people at once.  The head swing is capable of knocking people off cliffs or out of your way.  The roar helps convert damage to health.

As we have already been shown, as the classes were created, the level design adapted to class changes and challenges.  Initially, the maps were much larger. However, do to players just running around in the expansive environments, maps were shrunk so players could have more fun with better game play and be closer to the action. Also, while developing the classes and maps, the creators ran into various bugs. Garrett, Brooks, and Aaron shared a few of their favorite bugs. One bug which they named Terror Wars (a play on Star Wars) involved the Pteranodan having the ability to grab and kill his own teammates and kill with lasers. Another bug allowed the T-Rex to stand on and ride the Pteranodan then jump off to rage against the enemy. The last bug they shared was the mishap resulting from double character selection, mixing to classes together making one. For example, if you selected the T-Rex and Pyromaniac, the T-Rex would appear and could use its mouth as a flamethrower. Plus, the T-Rex would then kill his own teammates.

Finally, the guys shared tips they learned throughout the entire game developing process. They found it easiest to use a pre-developed game engine. Be realistic with the scope of developing by making sure the game you want to create is within your team’s abilities. Make sure everyone on your team knows what they are doing and have the time to do what they say they will do. They found it very helpful to learn as much as possible about development as a whole so they could know the basics about each area involved, so they would know what is a reasonable time frame for artists to complete a task for example. When in doubt, research others who have created games and learn from their successes and failures. Do stem integration as soon as possible, have a project schedule plan on day one, the internet is helpful when looking for tips, and know that the game industry is not for the weak hearted!

Primal Carnage as a whole – game classes, level design, and development – came together in just about five years: in 2007 the company was initially founded, and in October 29, 2012 the game was launched. Who hasn’t dreamed of running amuck as a ferocious, unyielding dinosaur? Or being the envy of all humans as you take down the relentless Tyrannosaurs Rex? This game has the right to boast, “Primal Carnage is sure to unleash the inner beast in anyone who seeks to survive among the fittest.” Log on to www.primalcarnage.com to start your own bloodbath today!

The male characters are just as bad. I feel bad for guys trying to live up to the male characters in these movies. Every normal guy will fail miserably. Based on these movies every guy is to be strong, protective, sensitive, supportive, sweet, edgy, exciting, humble, confident and willing to read the story of your life together every day to you while you suffer from Alzheimer’s. You may have noticed, but some of those attributes are polar opposites of each other, and so unattainable in a single individual.

For those that love these kinds of movies, I get it, I do. I just can’t find any joy in them myself. They’re just too unrealistic for me, which is saying something. I find wizards, trolls, hobbits, and zombies more realistic and believable than what goes on in chick flicks.

Many people happily man the same sails, while others attempt to strike down this glorious ‘ship. But it prevails! Some people do not like this pairing because they assume Snape’s interest in an underage Miss Granger is inappropriate. Well, yes, if she’s underage, there’s really no excuse for that. But I prefer my Miss Granger to be of the concenting adult age. Also I prefer. my Severus Snape to be alive, so, *SPOILERS* he is. Whatever fandom one ships, it usually comes under attack for one reason or another, which could be a whole other blog post ha! So I just ‘ship who I like, and I hope you do the same, even if your ‘ship is a one-seater dingy.

Without further ado, here is “Some Flowers Just Bloom Dead,” part one of a multi-chapter fic still in progress.
I know it was supposed to be a happy ending. I know it’s what everyone wanted, even if they didn’t want to admit it aloud. But things don’t always work out, no matter how hard you try. Marriage is… Not for everyone. I would personally speculate that it isn’t for most. I’ll admit, some people seem to be experts at it. Their love blooms like roses in Spring. But some flowers just bloom dead.

* * *

Standing on the doorstep to the cottage she bought eleven years ago, Hermione took a very deep breath, steadied herself, and shut the door behind her. It was as though she had closed the cover to a once beloved but now tiresome book. Her hand tightened with a squeak around the leather handle of her bag.

One step and she would descend the granite stair that served as a modest porch. Eight steps and she would clear the flagstones that led through the garden she had cultivated with much more luck than the marriage she’d be leaving behind. Had the heart been as fertile as the ground, she’d always said to herself, perhaps things would be different. As it was, the earth seemed to have been salted since creation.

Two more steps after that and she’d pass through the gate at the end of the walk.
Three more steps and she’d have feet on the road that lead into town, or, in her case, away from town, away from those who so often let their eyes linger on her, then smirked haughtily. She wouldn’t miss trips into town for groceries every other afternoon, having to listen the echoing gossip that always managed to reach her ears despite the suddenly lowered voices.

Funny how there were only fourteen steps between this life and the next. Now if only she could take the first one. She’d gotten herself out the front door, so that was something. Bags packed too. Some larger pieces sent to her father’s in Cheswick. Friends waiting for her in London at the Cauldron, a pint with her name on it. Well, that was something. First step now. C’mon, she reasoned. Can’t live on the front stoop forever.

Suddenly her feet had wings and she found herself halfway through the garden, her skirts flapping enough to trouble the tendrils of ivy that reached for the openness of the pathway. Such optimism! Several more steps and there was the dirt of the road gritting under her heels. A few more steps and she felt it release, like a breath the house had been holding. The barrier of wards that netted over the house like a shawl to prevent Apparation on to the grounds had been crossed. Like a dancer who had performed the move a thousand times, Hermione spun on her heel mid-step and disappeared with a crack.
She’d landed off balance in the alleyway behind the bar and nearly fell into an uncovered bin. That was all she needed. As it was she’d caught herself from falling by grabbing on to the edge of the thing and a neat round slice bloomed on her thumb.

“Dammit!” she hissed. Instinctively she shoved her thumb in her mouth and pouted. So thoroughly not fair, she thought. Divorce papers and probably tetanus in one day? Pathetic.
The back door of the bar opened with a flourish and a massive wave of water exploded out over her. She stood completely drenched and shocked and smelling of dishwater and stale beer. It soaked rapidly into her robes and suddenly there was the most irritating sensation of water dripping down between her breasts and down the small of her back. She shook her mane of hair and growled in annoyance.

“Oh, Merlin’s pants!” Hannah Abbott, looking as though she’d murdered the Minister of Magic, leapt from the doorway and dropped her tub to the ground. “Miss, I’m so terribly — Hermione!?”
Hermione shook her head again and pushed her hair out of her eyes with the back of her wrist.

“Ugh,” she shuddered. “Hello, Hannah,” she sighed. She coughed hard, suddenly overwhelmed by the water that had made it into her nose and now down her throat.

“Dammit,” she sighed.

“Oh dear,” said Hannah. “I’m so sorry. I saw Ron and all them. They said you were coming. What am I thinking!?” Hannah exclaimed, reaching for her wand. She pointed it at Hermione’s head and began syphoning the water off of her with a gentle “whoosh. “It’s the best charm for working in a bar,” she laughed nervously. “Gosh, Hermione, I’m so sorry. We don’t normally throw the wash water out back here, but the pipes’re clogged, and… Ugh, it’s been so busy.” More and more water vacuumed itself off into the wand tip. While Hermione’s skin still felt clammy, she had to admit Hannah’s wandwork was very efficient. With a quick twice-over around Hermione’s shoes, Hannah stood and smiled hopefully up at her old schoolmate. “A bit better I hope?”
Hermione, who would have otherwise dismantled molecule by molecule someone who attempted to drown her looked at Hannah and started to laugh. “It’s all right, Hannah. It’s fine. It’s still not the worst thing to happen to me today.” Divorce papers, tetanus, receiving end of a bucket of water.
Before Hannah could reply, the back door opened again. Hermione braced for another volley of ice water, but instead she was greeted with another familiar face. Ron Weasley, pint in hand, nonchalantly nodded at her. “Oy! Thought that was you we saw gracefully make ‘er way in. C’mon! Harry’s got next round.” And the door closed behind him.

“Well. That’s nice,” Hermione huffed. “Fuck it.” Hannah jumped slightly at the curse. She ran a bar, so she was no stranger to harsh language. But it sounded so very foreign coming from Hermione. “Sorry, Hannah.”

“It’s all right. C’mon inside. And let me get you something for that cut. You’re bleeding on yourself, there.”

Hermione looked down. Indeed she was dripping scarlet blood down her thumb and on to her other fingers. “Fantastic.” She flicked the droplets off onto the wet ground and followed Hannah into the Leaky Cauldron.

“Blimey, Hermione, you’re late! Wondering if we needed to send out a party.” Ron leaned back and stretched.

“Yes, I can see you’re terribly concerned. Thanks ever so.” She made her way around the table and out of the way of other patrons. She leaned down to hug Ron around the neck and then Harry who was sitting more or less at the head of the table.

“Ignore him,” Harry said, shaking his head. “He’s been a right arse all day and I’d be glad to be rid of him.”

“Well you don’t hafta go telling the truth and spoiling it for everyone!” Ron chastised in mock hurt. “C’mon, Hermione, sit down.”

Hermione shifted in her shoes and grimaced. “I think I need to freshen up a bit,” she said. Water was still creeping into some of the harder places to reach with a siphoning wand. “Ginny in there?”

“Nah,” said Ron. “Late as usual.”

“S’cuz she’s got a proper job,” jabbed Harry, not unkindly.

“Piss off,” Ron grumbled, only slightly wounded.

“I’m not even going to ask,” muttered Hermione as she wedged her way through the backs of chairs and other bar flys and headed to the ladies’.

Once inside the din of the bar faded away behind the heavy oak door and she was left with the muffled cheer and squawking she had come to miss these last few weeks. She’d visited the Cauldron every late August before term started when she was in school. The bar still held happy memories of breakfast with the Weasley’s before shopping for books. After the War and before they’d all settled down to be proper adults, she and Ron and Harry, Ginny, and sometimes Neville would meet to blow off steam and laugh and drink when the events of War would catch up with them and leave them shaking their heads and craving company and distraction. Though Hermione returned to school to finish out her last year, she had enjoyed spending an evening out every few days.

Then after work, and marriage, Hermione had stopped going entirely because, well… Life had happened. She and Severus had been so, so busy. And Harry and Ginny had had babies. Ron started traveling the world with the Cannons. Neville realized he loved school now that Snape was gone and went back to teach. One bonfire night after the festivities, their group had returned to the Cauldron for a drink. Hannah Abbott had come to help out her uncle Tom with the rush. She and Neville met properly, not like in school, and they started seeing one another. So the group had gone their ways, and everyone thought that was how it should be.

But Hermione was bored and tired and unfocused. She had all the work in the world to keep her happy– experiments with Severus, a book or three on the War, commentaries on several volumes, and a hand in the updated version of Hogwarts: A History. But with all the strain her marriage had put on her, she had found it hard to find much enjoyment in that which would otherwise elate her.
Hermione stared into the mirror over the basin. She hadn’t even wanted to get married.
She let the water run over her still bloody fingers, then performed a simple knitting spell to join up the edges of flesh. With all that done she disappeared into a cubicle to tidy herself up despite the unhappy welcome she received earlier. Once she felt a bit cleaner and neater she emerged and gave herself a glance in the mirror again before stepping back out into the crowded bar.

When she returned, Ginny was just coming in the backdoor. “I see someone managed to come in properly,” Ron said snidely, smirking at Hermione.

“What??” said Ginny with a frown.

“Never mind,” grumbled Hermione, reaching over to hug Ginny.

“Ignore him,” ordered Harry as he pulled out a seat for his wife. “He’s just self conscious because he hasn’t had a proper bath in ages.”

“Since he left school, I think,” Ginny confirmed. She pulled her bag off from over her head and reached inside. “Your copy, Hermione. It’s official.”

A thick stack of parchment slapped down in the middle of the table and Hermione stared at it as Harry and Ron clapped and whooped. But Hermione stood staring at it blankly. It hadn’t seemed like that many papers when she was signing them.

Ginny noticed her friend’s stillness. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d want them sooner than later. They were finalized just as I was leaving the Ministry and…”

“No,” Hermione said hurriedly, waving her hand. “It’s just fine. I just didn’t expect it to be done already.”

Ginny glanced at Harry then back at Hermione. “The Vitals Department is surprisingly efficient. Also, I…. thought you might want it done as soon as possible. So I asked them to push it ahead.”

Hermione smiled sadly and sat down. “It’s OK, really, Ginny. It’s just a surprise. It’s not like I didn’t sign them myself. Had to be done sometime really.” She laughed again. “Well, I officially don’t have to wash Snape’s pants now, do I?”

It was such an unexpected thing for her to say that it took a moment for Harry, Ron and Ginny to catch up. When they did, their laughed was loud and genuine. “Hannah!” Ron called towards the bar. “Another round!”

“Please,” Ginny hissed, attempting to remind her brother to be somewhat polite.

“Please!” Ron added.

Hermione, still laughing herself, leaned her face on her palm and sank in her chair. “Who’s taking care of me tonight?” she asked. “I’m going to be very drunk for a very long time.”

Harry’s hand went up. “Kids are at the Burrow for the weekend. You can live with us til Sunday night. Longer if you don’t mind taking up on the couch.”

“Oh, I’ll be at Dad’s by then, but thanks. Good, right,” she nodded, a large pint appearing in front of her. She lifted it and met the eyes of her best friends since she was eleven. “To the Snape-Granger divorce. A long time coming!”

“Cheers!” echoed around.

“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer girl,” Ron added.

End of chapter/part 1. Why were they married in the first place?! And why have the left each other?! Oh, the mystery! Oh, the intrigue! I will endeavour to write more, but I’m lousy at sitting down and doing things I love. So you might read it here, or I may post it on another site depending on whatever else I wanna post here in the meantime. Please comment if you enjoyed, or even if you didn’t haha

“The files are IN the computer…”

I really love that people are free to express themselves and find their voice on the internet.  I’m doing that right now!  I think it is truly important that the comments sections of news articles, blog
posts, review sites, and entertainment sites exist.  Since an article may only feature one point of view, the comments allow readers to say, ”Hey, wait a second.  I see your point, but there are two sides to this situation.  Here is the other side for your consideration.”

Mind you, I said, “allow readers to say.”  I didn’t say that’s what people actually do.

I stopped reading the comments sections to articles, especially to very controversial ones, because many commentators are not articulate, do not post verifiable facts, nor do they post their opinions and concerns in a way that avoids mimicking hammering on the keyboard with their club hands in tune with the grunts of their angry, angry indignation.

Please understand I’m not picking on people with whom I disagree.  I’m not singling out people who have different viewpoints or beliefs.  I get just as frustrated with people who post an opinion I agree with in a way that makes the poster (and anyone who agrees with him or her) look like an uneducated chimp.  Not just your standard chimp, but an UNEDUCATED one.  No, I don’t get mad at people on the internet who have differing opinions; I get mad at people on the internet who don’t take the time to read what they just wrote, spell check it, pop in the correct punctuation to make the whole thing more digestible, and, finally, remove all the degrading, sexist, racist, insulting additions they included in a fit of righteous fury.

You see, there are three reasons why these degrading, sexist, racist, insulting additions immediately influence my opinion of the commentator.  First, it makes the commentator look pompous, ignorant, stubborn, and just plain mean.  I’m not interested in hearing from someone who comes at me or an important subject with this attitude in real life, so if I can avoid it easily by closing a web page on the internet, I certainly will.

Second, it removes all credibility from the commentator.  So even if I agree with the underlying point, I’m too annoyed to support the issue further.  And if I already disagreed with the point being made, the commentator has lost all hope of ever convincing me to listen to an opposing point, let alone having me consider changing my mind.

And third and most important, comments laced with vitriol and other types of harshness make me cynical about people, and cynicism is both my Kryptonite and my Moriarty.  It both weakens me and taunts me.  It makes me like people less.  It makes me want to interact with people less.  It makes me think that this whole world is, and I quote George Carlin, “going down the tubes.”  And if you consider I’m an OG member of a community service group, that’s pretty bad!  It makes me want to read less on the internet, the primary way for people like me to get information.  It makes me want to listen to people in real life less because I’m just waiting for their in-person comments on topics to be as abrasive as the ones I’ve seen on the internet.  In short, it makes me care less.  And to be really honest, it makes me depressed.

There may be those who say, “Julie, if you’re getting butthurt by other people’s opinions, maybe the internet just isn’t for you.”  And if that was the case, I’d readily agree.  Perhaps this swirling cacophony of points, counterpoints and cats called the internet just ISN’T for me!  But here’s the thing about that.  It IS for me.  I have
opinions and ideas too, and sometimes I wish to share them.  Like here on our blog, I have no problem posting my opinion and ideas, reading the comments, and responding to them like an adult.  But then again, our readers and fans and followers have yet to prove to me they fall anywhere on the graduated scale of chimp intelligence, uneducated or not.  And I do post comments on articles and other sites, but it feels like shouting into a black hole because everything gets lost in all
the other garbage being pulled in around my one little (in my opinion) reasonable post.

What I’m trying to get at here is not that I’m mad that people are mean on the internet. It’s not my first day here.  I get it, really, I do.  I’m frustrated because we have this thing that nearly the whole world has the ability to use in some way, this thing that can move information, can transport ideas, can teach, can connect us over borders and oceans, and it’s full of things like the following comment left by “Gwen01″ on PerezHilton.com

“so this pig is doing this all for her reality show..how many morans [sic] will continue to watch this slut. I thought you people in the states had guns, can’t some shoot her in her psoris [sic] filled knee cap to shut her up.”

Delightful.  Let it be known that I only included the notation of ”[sic]” or “[said in context]” twice to make it clear that I did not typo-slash the hell out of the poster’s comment.  But if I noted every instance of grammar fail or punctuation fail in this comment, it would be three times as long.

It’s apparent the commentator doesn’t care for Kim Kardashian.  Okay,that’s fine.  I’m not the white knight of the internets who insists on defending the virtue of every person in the public eye from haters. Seriously, I do not care that someone doesn’t like her.  What I want to point out is how USELESS this comment is.  To quote the great Albus Dumbledore, “this […] will give us neither knowledge or truth.”  It’s just full of rough words, stereotypes, threats of physical violence,
and spelling errors. P.S. I don’t know what “psoris” means.  It might refer to Kim Kardashian having psoriasis on her knees?  Or that Kim’s kneecaps are actually located in the small province of Psoris in Akhaia, Greece.  I am not aware of TMZ having any proof of either.

You’re probably like, “Hey, what did you expect from a trashy entertainment site? A hundred uneducated chimps banging on a hundred typewriters?”  Well, maybe.  But let’s consider these gems from the New York Daily News.  The article was titled “In an about face, House Speaker Boehner promises quick action on $60 billion in Hurricane Sandy aid.”   Again, the standard “[said in context]” disclaimers apply.

CITYSLICKER70:  ”Why is his name pronounced…Bay.ner…when it looks like it should be Bo.ner?”

GID:  ”boehner is acting just like an EGGPLANT! f- ny n f- washington n it’s eggplant………….”

LOGICAL CONCLUSION:  ”Bozo.. He didn’t like the taxes going up on the middle class.. why is that ?…if as you say he likes ALL taxes. .=why I use the name LOGICAL , stupid one……. .

And I hate to disappoint your ‘vision of me as”‘porky ” .. I am Rrrrreeaaallll easy on the eyes , preacher boy. !.=Fine !!! .. I was given many blessings..by the “good fairies” “……. My magnificent BRAIN valued as my most prized. ..

Now go pet your DUMB “bow wow” living with you ! … Tell her I said ”woof woof ” !…”

And this is where we’re writing the sequel to 50 Shades of Gray.

Classy!  Way to add to a discussion about the very serious matter of federal emergency funding for those whose lives were torn apart by Hurricane Sandy!  There were people without food, electricity, clean water, shelter… And we’re debating why House Speaker Boehner pronounces his name a certain way and accusing New York and Washington of being… Eggplants?  Well, there ya go.  In no way do these comments add to the discussion, and in no way do they increase anyone’s knowledge or understanding of the situation. I can only HOPE the last
one was trolling, because otherwise, WOW.

Look, I’m not going to list a bunch of examples because, since you’re on the internet, you know what I’m talking about.  To list several examples would not only dishearten me, but probably you as well.  Then you’d stop reading, close the tab, and go watch another cat video. And straight up, I will probably be doing that once I’m done posting this because, hey, cats!  They make everything better! I’m just trying to point out how deeply these kinds of low-brow comments can cut someone who is not even the targeted recipient of such drivel. Reading three or four of these kinds of comments can make you roll your eyes.  By the time you scroll down and read about ten you start getting irritable and you wonder “are people really like that?”  If you make it to a solid twenty you have probably seen at least 1-5 racial slurs and (conservatively) one serious comparison of the original poster to Hitler (or at the very least, the current governing party to Nazi Germany, regardless of whether or not the article in question had anything to do with the government or politics).

Reading several dozen sets of comments on various posts throughout the day will probably send you into a spiraling sea of depression, much like it did to me, and make you reconsidering having kids because who would raise children in a world like this!? And that’s the crux of it.  Really, it’s not a hardship to disagree
with a single voice on the internet.  But when barraged with dozens, sometimes hundreds of super negative and sometimes intentionally ridiculous troll-type comments, it’s not a far stretch from ”frustrated” to “discouraged” straight on to “dismayed.”  And if you have the masochistic tendency to keep on reading such button-pushing and often purposely incendiary commentary, you may find yourself engaging in an unwinnable war of flaming, cursing, accusing, and childish name-calling as well.  This can take you from the quietly dismissive “Ugh, people are ridiculous” phase and catapult you into the “WHY THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE ALLOWED TO VOTE?!” zone.  And now you’re all negative and grumpy and not in the mood to trust that the next person you talk to will be of any worth to you or the rest of the human race.

But… but… but… Internets!  ”I used to LIKE the internet!” you cry out. But no one hears you because everyone around you is on the internet and not paying attention to you.  Then you get MORE mad because NOW the internet is a jerk and you don’t know why your friends are still using the stupid thing.  Maybe THEY’RE idiots TOO.  All because you got irritated and then angry because reading internet comments is honestly a dead end street.

Look at all those idiots!

That’s a pretty suck place to be.  But it doesn’t have to end this way.  Remember, this is also a cautionary tale.

What I want you to walk away with today is that you shouldn’t let something that isn’t perfect take away your joy.  That is to say the internet is a wealth of information.  And so many people are smart and articulate.  But just because those two statements are not personified in the majority of junk commentary we regularly read online doesn’t mean we have to give up all hope.  If the internet is a place where you can really be yourself – for example, you’ve found a community site made of people who share your very particular interests and you
feel free to express yourself there – then you should continue to use that site and not feel that because other parts of the internet are essentially wastelands of mouth-breathing verbal pushing and shoving that your happy place and the interactions you have there are somehow invalid.

And finally, you can combat this ridiculousness.  No, not by engaging herpa derps in the comment section or by feeding the trolls, but by cleaning up your own act or avoiding the battlefield all together. Be a good example for other people to emulate by making clear, articulate points, staying on topic despite other’s attempts to shake you loose, and not resorting to all the poor behavior choices we’ve discussed.  Also, you can JUST STOP READING THOSE COMMENTS.  Just don’t even
start.  Don’t even scroll through them at top speed because some keyword will catch your eye and you’ll be compelled to get involved. Read your article and leave.  Get your news, your updates, your gossip, and leave.

In case you haven’t deciphered the moral of the story, it is this:  Do not allow silly things to make you a more negative person or force you to give up something you otherwise like.  Don’t let something base and crude stress you out or tear you down, especially if it literally has nothing to do with you.  Lastly, don’t let crazy people on the internet make you cynical and mean too.  If you let that happen, you let their negativity and foolishness win.

Jokes on you, internet! I don’t even LIKE cats!